by: Brian North photo by: Stephanie Ringleb Photography Mondays and Fridays are my favorite day of the week. Monday is a fresh start. It's the day we usually say we say we’re going to start something new. Mondays are an opportunity. Fridays are a time to regroup, reflect, and look back on all that you accomplished. A time to celebrate, connect with friends and family or refresh and regenerate. So let’s make today the first day of the start of something great, and we’ll connect on Friday to reflect on all that we accomplished together. Have you had a moment recently where a client, friend, or family member said something to you so startling that you reacted with hell, fire, and brimstone? It doesn’t have to be an external reaction, it could have been an internal reaction of questioning self, questioning relationship, or whether you even want to do your job anymore. I know you have. I want you to hear me loud and clear, it's okay to feel the way you did or do. Whether they were “right or wrong,” the opportunity or work is now upon you. You might think I have superpowers from time to time with all of my energy, speeches, and hugs, but I don’t. I’m human just like you. I hurt feelings and I get my feelings hurt. It’s okay as long as you’re willing to grow. I heard an interview with Shaq (Shaquille O’Neill) recently where they asked him about his emotions and he replied that he doesn’t have time for emotions. He has over 100 businesses, two ex-wives, and six kids to take care of. In my head, while watching the interview, I replied, “If you don’t take care of your emotions, they will take care of themselves for you, and they show up to the party however they want.” So, think back to that recent moment of humanness when this happened. A client said something that you can’t believe came out of their mouth, and then how you reacted. Here’s how I work through it as the person who said something that didn’t come out right, or as the person receiving it. First, STOP! Just stop, and become a witness to your feelings. Listen to the voice in your head, the feeling in your body, and what all of your gifts (defense mechanisms) want to happen next, but don’t. Just stop and be a witness… and tell yourself over and over and over, that it's okay to feel the way you’re feeling. Second, DROP! No, don’t fall on the floor writhing around like a weirdo. In your best attempt drop those emotions for just a minute. Remember, you are still in a conversation and potentially getting tattered verbally, so you’re going to have to work your way out. First, let the other person get it all out. Next, work your way out is to asking a question. The best question is to ask for a pause. It can go like this, “I can hear what you're saying, can we pause for a second to make sure I understand you?” Then potentially follow it up with another question to help you understand what they’re saying. Third, ROLL! Can you imagine if you were just rolling around on the floor in front of the person? One thing is for sure, if you want to stop this back and forth, just drop down on the floor and start rolling around, and I guarantee it will stop, but in most cases, it’s probably not the venue to do so. With that in mind let it roll off of your back for the time being. Now, I know you. If you’re a North&Co. agent you have feelings, and you’re in tune with them. They are there to protect you, and for good reason. Consider the detriment of packing them away, I've been good at that my whole life, and let me tell you, like Shaq, they will come to visit him one day. Once you’ve navigated an end to the conversation, come back to yourself and review what you learned in the initial stop. Where did those feelings come from, how well did you process them and what can you do better with them when they show up in the future (mainly for yourself)? Dropping them was a method of remaining clear so you could navigate the minefield, and rolling until the end was a means of maintaining the relationship if you so choose, the power is when you dance with your emotions you get to choose instead of letting them get the best, doing something you regret, and handing the power to the other person. A little thick this morning, but it’s real…and it’s real estate. This has happened to the best of us, and will likely continue in this changing market as emotions run high. You’re equipped, now trust those feeling, don’t blame them for showing up, make time for them, and get better.